:(

I'm praying for two things:

first,
I'm praying that God will give all the best for you

and second,
that I can have the strength to endure life without you


i just find it hard every time. i need strength. and funny, all the while, i found my strength in you.
ohhhhhh.... i think i'm a hopeless case.


hope you're good.

Heart's status - Feb 14, 2011

four words: I love you still.

January 8, 2010
PARTNERSHIP AND CORP.

Atty. G: How's your New Year?
Me: Happy!
Atty. G: The guy in the civil law is also happy.
Me: That's good sir!
Atty. G: Why are you happy? Is there a brooding relationship between the two of you?
Me: None sir. I always wanted him to be happy.

-------
DISSOLUTION AND WINDING UP

Atty. G: For example, yung boyfriend mo, pag nagbreak kayo, wala ng relationship sa inyo. Binabalik niyo yung mga binigay niyo sa isa't isa. 'Di ba Miss Grace?
Me: *smiles.*

I don't know what Atty. G's up into, but I want you to know that because of what he did, I realized that I MISS YOU BIG TIME! :)

If you're happy now, that's good. You deserve to. :)
Don't worry, I've been good... in my little ways, I'm managing. :)


Carry with you my good intentions.
Even if we didn't end up as I wanted, you're still an important person in my life, and I wish you all the best. The relationship may have failed, but, it doesn't mean that I hate you.
Let's be friends again... I miss being your friend. :)

drinking

I drink because of you.

You're asking me if there's something you can do to help me.
Maybe you could come back and everything will be happy.

But i know you won't come back.
You should have came back a long time ago if you have plans.
So, let me be.
Let me drink myself to forgetfulness.
Let me, at least feel that I can sleep without thinking so hard of you.
Let me journey to another world where I have no control of myself.
Because for the past year and months counting, I've been in control... I must restrict myself in loving you.

Ask me why I drink.
I drink because I love you too much that it hurts.
I drink because it hurts me too much that I want to be numb even for a few hours or so.
I drink because the numbness will never be enough to completely unlove you.

After I wake up from that drinking session, here I am..
writing about my love.

It all comes back to you.
I love you that much that it all leads back to you.

Let me drink. You're my greatest frustration now. :)

Sir: Go to Ateneo and you'll forget him.
Me: I won't study in Ateneo so that I wont forget him.
Sir: There must be something in him, that's why you can't forget him.
Me: *smiles*
Sir: when he's for you, destiny have a way of making you meet him again. Focus on your studies, someday, when he comes back, he is for you. When he does not, he isn't. Mahal mo pa ba siya?
Me: *speechless*

Nilaglag pa ako ng mga classmates ko.

I love you very very much, but sir is right, someday, when you comeback, you're for me. But if you won't, i must learn to cope.

I love you cheezy.

Alam mo ba, nahihirapan akong magdecide kung sang law school ako papasok.

I want to study in UST sana.
Kasi, I want to top the bar for UST.
I want to be a Thomasian Lawyer.
I want to be a Thomasian Chief Justice.
That was my plan before we met.

But everything changed.
I still want to study in UST.
But I've got this problem,
I think UST is too small a world for both of us.
It's either I leave the school or i'll be forever doomed in trying to move on.

Alam mo ba, isa sa mga ni-rarason ko kung bakit gusto ko sa ibang school?
I want a new environment.
Feeling ko lang kasi, di ako makakapag move on kung lagi kitang nakikita.
Masasaktan lang siguro ako kung nakikita ko kayo ni ano.
So, I want to save myself from the pain.
It's normal di ba? Though I admit it's coward.

But I just want to help myself...at the expense of my dreams.

Kaya ang hirap hirap sakin.
Anywhere but not where you are.
Para maging happy ka na din.
Para matahimik na kita.

San kaya ako maglalawschool?
Hindi ko din alam e.
Kung san ako dadalhin ni God, siguro dun na nga.

Bahala na.